Hi Reader,
I came back from four weeks away to more than 1500 emails sitting in my inbox. And I felt completely fine about it. Well you know, as fine as you can be with 1500+ emails :D
I hadn't looked at my inbox in those 4 weeks so the number made complete sense. But that doesn't mean I left my inbox without a second thought.
In the weeks before I left, I told people exactly what to expect. I will be away for 4 weeks. If you have a new project in mind, it will have to wait until I'm back. If you are a current client and if something is genuinely important, we've got a way to handle it. My VA and I set up a separate address for anything urgent. If you emailed me you got a response saying 'hey, if it is important, send an email to x'. My team read those, helped where they could, and only came to me if it truly couldn't wait. A handful came in. They handled every one. Nothing came to me.
So I could actually switch off. Not the 'still feel like I keep an eye out on my email while walking in the forest' kind of off. But 'didn't check the email once in 25 days' kinda off. Which is how I ended up with 1500+ emails.
So in a way it's kind of a win I had so many to work through this week.
For a long time I believed a boundary like that was impossible. I was a small business and I had to be helpful to my clients. Taking a break like this would make me difficult, unhelpful, not committed enough. I don't believe that any more. Here's what changed my mind. A boundary isn't unkind on its own. The problem is in the way it's held. How you word it. How (long) you announce it. When you communicate it's being breached. When you step in. It's the warmth around the boundary.
You're allowed to set the limit, Reader. You just have to say it plainly, and ideally before you need it. That's the whole thing. Not toughness. Clarity and warmth.
So, a question for you. What's the one boundary you keep meaning to set but haven't said out loud yet? Hit reply and tell me, I read and react to every response. Because the boundary you never voice is the one that quietly wears you down. The one you say clearly is what lets you keep showing up warmly for the people you actually want to help.
Ps. I'm almost through them all, it was a lot :D. By the way, I wrote an article about this a while back: https://digitalie.eu/setting-boundaries-with-clients/
